Upper Valley of the Dolls

Hartford – 60 days after it started, and with no end in sight, a massive maple syrup spill continues to sully the Vermont countryside.

Impromptu cleanup crews continue to appear each morning at the various spill sites, armed with French toast and pancakes, to sop up the sweet, sticky substance that now coats thousands of miles of Vermont woodlands and fields. Farm workers also continue to rescue and hose down stray cows and chickens that have become bogged down in the mess.

Meanwhile, reports coming in from various county Game Wardens indicate that denizens of the wild are adapting well to the sudden influx of liquid sugar, although some have raised concerns about the long-term health effects that may afflict these animals further down the road. Raccoons and skunks gorging themselves on maple syrup have already been seen to slip into virtual sugar comas, and a spike in cases of…

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